Thigh Gap? My Thighs Touch!

Thick, 
Big, 
Massive, 
Muscular, 
Solid, 
Strong, 
and most recently, 
Lethal in the Legs
All are words that have been used by others to describe my legs, to me, they are compliments.
I am proud of my muscular legs, and thankful for all that they do to support my body.
My thighs touch, they have for as long as I can remember, and their lack of a space has never been a big deal to me.  They stick together in the summertime, glide by one another while I run, and make me order the next size up in jeans, cause a size two just won’t do, with legs as thick as mine.

So at first, I was confused with the whole “thigh gap” term.  The running joke between my friends and I is that I “live underneath a rock” when it comes to all things that deal with pop culture, social media, and trends.  Well, clearly, my thighs and I were out of the loop on this “thigh gap” phenomenon.  While I’ve been at the gym doing squats and looking in the mirror excitedly at my leg gains, other girls have been trying to eliminate theirs….

Screen shot 2013-12-08 at 12.48.08 PM

Screen shot 2013-12-08 at 12.47.43 PM

Still impressed, I did a little internet research and read a few articles, to see what was so wonderful about this space that I clearly, by the above photos did not posess.  I sat at my computer and stared horrified at the screen.  What was once something that only existed in the model world has now become a contagiously coveted desire for young girls and women.  Social media sites have allowed this “thigh gap” desire to spread like wild fire.  Fueling it with support in the form of hash tags, instagram/pinterest accounts for “thighspiration” and diet and work out plans that promise to unveil that so called sacred space.  I felt sick looking at pictures that said, “Do it for the thigh gap” or reading girls’ comments about their own bodies, bashing their touching thighs and wishing for nothing more than a space between the two.  If I could, I’d go and delete every single one of those stupid pictures and posts, because a space between your thighs doesn’t mean anything about who you are as a person, your health, fitness, or beauty. 

LADIES – THIS IS FOR YOU AND YOUR THIGHS,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, GAP OR NO GAP

A space between your thighs does not make you prettier.
A space between your thighs does not make you happier.
A space between your thighs does not make you a better person.
A space between your thighs does not make you “more fit.”
A space between your thighs does not make you healthier.

A space between your thighs is simply just that, a space that some of us have, and others don’t.
Jen Sinkler writes a great article on this topic, specifically describing how a thigh gap and whether or not we can achieve one has more to do with our bone and muscle structure than the food we eat and exercises we do.

So this highly sought out space, for some girls and women, just isn’t possible based on our bone and muscle structure.  In addition to it not being possible, think about all the wonderful things your legs do for you, and how, if you partake in self-destructive behaviors to achieve this space, you may hurt yourself and your legs’ abilities.

Our legs are our vessels in which we take on the world.  It is with thicker legs we can run faster, jump higher, dance longer, walk farther, and simply stand.  My legs are a resting place for my boyfriend’s tired head, a warm lap for a small child, and a make shift tray when I’m trying to eat without a table, my touching thighs acting as an excellent crumb catcher.  It is with these larger legs that I ran my first 5k, walked across the stage for graduation, and danced the night away many times.  With these thicker thighs I feel beautiful and strong, whether I’m sweaty at the gym in tie dye spandex or dressed up, my legs give me the confidence to wear whatever I feel like.

Stop wishing for that space and start loving.
I love my legs, all around their 22 inches of width.
You should love yours too, gap or no gap.

Need some more positive “thighspiration”? Check out Elisabeth Akinwale‘s blog post embracing her thighs, in which she refers to them as “juicy and beautiful.”  And fellow Strong Figure Ambassador April’s post, “Why NO ONE Should Pursue the ‘thigh gap'”

Stay Happy & Healthy
And remember to love your body
check out my love your body section on my blog Eats and Exercise by Amber here

<3

 Also, please check out strongfigure’s first ever infographic here– Do You Want a Thigh Gap?

Comments

    • Amber Vesey says

      John, I am not quite sure what a “hot biscuit” is but I am hoping I am a gluten free one ;] Thanks for checking out my post and leaving some comment love!

  1. Carly says

    I am not trying to be rude but everyone doesn’t want to have “strong” legs. I’m working on my thigh gap (just bought a book to help me – google The Thigh Gap Hack – and joined the gym) and I can’t wait to get it because I think slender legs look ultra feminine. I know lots of girls who had bigger legs who were able to slim then down enough to get a thigh gap. It really is about body fat and the way you train your legs.

    I guarantee if you lost more fat and didn’t do heavy weights/squats you could get a thigh gap if you wanted one. But, I don’t think everyone should want one. Just the those of us who do should be entitled to strive for it without criticism.

    • Amber Vesey says

      Hi Carly!
      I think you may have missed the overall point of my post, which was celebrating loving your legs and body, as they are, whether you have a gap or not. This post was to empower women, not criticize. My only criticisms were of society and social media that puts a negative light on legs that do not possess a gap and how this “thigh gap” trend has caused some girls and women to go to unhealthy extremes to do so. This is a positive body image post.
      Anatomically, I cannot have a thigh gap, I have a lateral pelvic tilt and hyper extended knees nor do I want a thigh gap. I love my body the way that it is and it took me a long time to feel this way. I was unaware that I had any fat to lose, thank you for pointing that out to me.

      • Becky says

        Thigh gaps are very attractive. Don’t have to worry about a rash rubbing between them either.

        • cressonpa says

          There are attractive people with thigh gaps. But thigh gaps don’t make you attractive.

        • says

          Becky, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And as for rashes, my thick thighs touch and I don’t have a rash :)

          • Dragana says

            having a tight gap doesn’t have anything with how much you weigh or even exercise , its about bone and muscle structure , some people just dont have it at all and its not because they are fat or dont exercise .

  2. cressonpa says

    Carly I think you probably fall into the category of most people. The strong figure audience is not most people. And by most people I am mainly referring to women. Guys, at least guys with experience, are not particularly attracted to ultra skinny women. That said we are generally not attracted to ultra fat women either. So your goals of losing weight are admirable.

    And due to my fitness interests, I have done a lot of research and checked out several of the sites devoted to obtaining the “gap”; although, I am not familiar with the book you noted. And most of these sites are idiotic at best. The gap itself has a lot to do with bone structure too. Moreover, extremely thin women might still not have a gap based on their body type and bone structure. I wish you luck in your goals but I think you would be better off squatting — at least when it comes to attracting men. Amber’s pics above are attractive — or hot biscquit-esque. I can’t say I have seen too many legs with thigh gaps that I could give the same compliment.

      • Amber Vesey says

        Erik, thank you for your support and clarification, strong does not mean masculine, and unfortunately I am unsure why the two are always related! This is a misconception that needs to be fixed!

    • Amber Vesey says

      Cressonpa, I agree with you completely. And while I posted those pictures to make a point and be honest with my audience, I appreciate your compliment. Quite frankly, my legs are usually deemed my best feature, and men and women often compliment me on them or ask for my leg routine. Although the biscuit term is still new to me ;]

      • says

        I know this is over a year old but it’s a timeless message. Gene Simmons once said all women are beautiful. Big, skinny, short, tall….all beautiful. It’s so sad when beautiful little girls become critical of themselves.

        We have to help these sweet spirits understand they’re just right. I’m a single dad of 2 girls ages 19 and 12. I will often compliment their style, their hair, anything to help build their self image. Dad’s especially have a tremendous opportunity to help their daughters self esteem.

        Amber, you yourself are a beautiful woman inside. Your heart truly shines through in your writing. There’s no question you care. You also look amazing and have a gorgeous smile.

        Keep up the great work!
        Rich

        • Amber Vesey says

          Richard, thank you so much for leaving such a lovely comment.
          Gene Simmons was right, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

          And I couldn’t agree MORE with you, as a teacher, it breaks my heart when one of my students says that they are “ugly” or “fat” or even worse, called those words by ANOTHER student. I think that you’re awareness of the impact we can have on females makes you an awesome dad, and it’s great you compliment them to help build up their self image. Also, instill int hem that beauty is beyond their reflection but about their heart, and that they should love themselves. My dad always told me I looked beautiful, I grew up chubbier, but confident as heck, because I knew when I walked down the stairs, my daddy would say I looked beautiful no matter what!

          Thank you for your kind words, they made me tear up a little and reminded me that you CAN make a difference and have a voice on the internet – I have some positive body image posts on my blog if you or your daughters are interested in reading :)

          Positive Vibes
          Amber

          • says

            Your message was very sweet, thank you. It’s obvious from your words and works how special you are. A guy can never get tired of being told they are doing good things as a dad. I’m a fan Amber.

    • Amber Vesey says

      Dave, thank you SO much. I didn’t create this post to receive such wonderful compliments, but rather to show women and men, that the size of your legs is not a reflection of your worth or beauty. I didn’t like my legs for a while, and felt uncomfortable in shorts, cringing at my cellulite, but now, I am confident, and when I happen to catch a glance of my cellulite in the mirror, I do not cringe, but brush it off, because these legs are strong, and to me, that’s what matters!

  3. Kaylen says

    I have to say, while I’m not striving for stronger legs, and I’m slightly overweight just a bit(not fat), I still have a thigh gap. So I’m, currently, aiming for eating healthier and toning more. But reading this sure did make me feel a whole lot better about my body :).
    More people would benefit from reading this.

    • Amber Vesey says

      Kaylen, I think it’s awesome that this post was able to make you feel a whole lot better about your body :D that’s the reason why I made this post and was so open and honest with readers. Good for you for wanting to eat healthier and tone up, good luck and keep up the great work!

    • Amber Vesey says

      Thank you SO much, this just made my morning :) Why NOT be proud of ourselves, when we think about it, we are all incredible in so many ways! We should celebrate ourselves, not shame ourselves!

  4. Dan says

    Everyone is different, people arguing one is better than the other is silly because either or is sexy. The only thing that isn’t sexy is anorexia. People with that metal illness need professional help.

    • Amber Vesey says

      Dan, I couldn’t agree more. Beauty is subjective, it is in the eye of the beholder, my post was to show to embrace your body and not try and alter it to a form that simply isn’t possible for some!

    • Erik WalkerErik Walker says

      Dan, I agree but as recently as just a few years ago the majority of society didn’t agree. And there is still a huge part of our society that thinks femininity means submissive, fragile, frail, and easy to dominate — thus the thigh gap propaganda. Thanks to bloggers like Amber, the growth of women lifting weights (I have to throw CrossFit a bone here), and beautifully strong women (not just aesthetically) representing themselves as women — a true example of femininity; there is a changing dynamic.

      • Stephanie Walker says

        Reading these comments just makes me proud. I got into fitness because I was overweight and wanted to be “skinny.” Now I look at myself and yeah, there are days I wish my waist was smaller or my quads weren’t SO big, but now, I’m STRONG. I’m healthy, and fit, and a role model. I’ll never be the “thinnest in the room,” but I might be the strongest! That is WAY more awesome and I hope society keeps moving in this direction!

      • eatsandexercisebyamber says

        Erik, your kind words made me smile so big, I truly want to promote positive body image and strength to all women and the love of ourselves, regardless of size!

        Stephanie, STRONG ALWAYS <3 It's not about being skinny, but about being confident and happy, and for most women it comes from lifting weights and gaining strength. Yes I may be "skinny" and have "string bean arms" to some, but when I flex and can do unassisted pull ups on my own, i feel strong, and know that I am :)

        • Stephanie Walker says

          You’re right Amber! It’s all how we perceive ourselves–you’re strong, I’m strong, we’re both fit and healthy, no matter our anatomy make up. We are good at rocking who we are and that’s all that matters!

  5. Nyx says

    I have a huge thigh gap because of my hip size and I know you aren’t, but there are a lot of people criticizing those of us that have thigh gaps saying we are loose. Why do people always have to body shame. I thick women can look beautiful either way:/ ;(

    • Amber Vesey says

      I am sorry to hear that you have received such criticism. Body shame, for ANY size is not okay, and I want you to know, we are ALL beautiful in our own way <3

    • Amber Vesey says

      Wow, what a wonderful compliment, perfect is not something I would use to describe my legs!
      I’m not quite sure what you mean by “like that” but thank you very much, I played sports through out high school, but credit their growth to squats :) lots of them!

  6. Anisha says

    Well this post was a while ago… when thigh gaps were more popular I guess. But after reading this, I DO feel better. And I read that article about different body types and stuff. I’m not “muscular” and I’m not very strong at all.. I’m not fat and I’m not really skinny either. But everyone says I’m soo skinny because they just look at me and say it!

    So my arms are soo skinny (but theyre like healthy looking, but thin) and I guess my stomach is too, its not completely flat but its just normal belly fat which I’m sure I can get rid of if I do some exercise BUT its my thighs!! The rest of my legs dont touch, its only my thighs! I could lose SO much fat and become thinner evry part of my body except my thighs still look fat.

    I know its something about body typebut I do just.. want to have a thigh gap. And people I know who do just don’t care like “So?? idk, who cares about thigh gaps anyway” and they are right but STILLL i mean they dont care why cant I have one instead then!!!!!!!!!!

    Anyway, my thighs are kinda muscular, somehow, maybe I thought doing squats will help me with a thigh gap xD but when I put them a bit apart, they don’t touch, but they touch when I close them completely. I’m just gonna focus on making them look better and toned now because I know I can’t have a thigh gap… and I don’t want to diet anymore because my mom complains I look boney and blah and I don’t want to look skeleton, thats not attractive or healthy.

    But thanks for this, it made me feel better! I hope I’ll stop looking in the mirror all the time to see if there is ever going to be a gap between ny thighs. but hey, its just a GAP! So, I guess I need to chill.. but is it weird that the rest of my bosy is thin but my thighs look fat? :/

    Probably not.. or it is. I don’t know. But everyone I ask say my legs are just fine. And ur legs/thighs are beautiful! So I guess mine should be okay and not that bad, i mean ur thighs r gorgeous with no gap, so i should be okay, I should just exercise more and not have flabby fat around my thighs tho.. thank you. And I should love my body :)

    • Amber Vesey says

      Anisha,
      Whether this post was from last week or last year, it MAKES ME SO HAPPY that you read this and DO feel better!

      You are YOU Anisha, it does not matter if you don’t fit into a specific mold or not, we are all so different, and our bodies vary as well!

      My legs are the LARGEST part of my body, by far. They are where I hold ALL of my weight, but it is proud weight. I can run, jump, hop, skip, and squat because of these legs. IF, my legs were as small as my arms and waist, I wouldn’t be able to do any of those things!

      Fat is a feeling, not something that you are! A thigh gap or lack of a thigh gap doesn’t matter. if you are unhappy with your body, no matter WHAT you look like or weight, you won’t be happy.

      You need to embrace your body and love it whole heartedly, this requires effort and work, and some days are easier than others. If you cannot have a thigh hap, then embrace it, like you said! Do squats, get muscular, and be proud of your thighs!

      It is not weird at all, I am quite petite and bony on top, but my legs are the exact opposite! And i LOVE THEM. if you think my thighs are beautiful, then yours are too!

      Love your body, love yourself, stay happy and healthy!
      check out MY blog http://www.eatsandexercisebyamber.com or my instagram @eatsandexercisebyamber
      for more positive vibes xoxo

  7. Doug says

    Have you ever wrestled or scissored someone before, you might be able to knock someone out with them legs… Jk

  8. Anisha says

    OH MY GOSH THANK YOU!! I just saw your reply right now when I came BACK to this post because it honestly makes me feel a whole lot better! OMG I’M ACTUALLY CRYING WHILE READING THIS ASFGKBHVNUI THE TEARS ARE REAL THANK YOUUUU SO MUCH

    Well, since I wrote that, I’ve done a LOT of research, not just on thigh gaps but about bodies in general. Different body types and shapes. I didn’t really know about this stuff before. I’m pear shape which means my bottom half is larger than my top and the first place I gain weight tends to be around my thighs and hips area which explains a lot! I hated how I was pear-shaped and wished I was hourglass(considered as the perfect body shape) like SOOO BAD but like you said, we should embrace our body! Pear shape is the most common and many beautiful starts such as Beyonce, Rhianna, JLO, Shakira etc are pears.

    I look at celebrities like Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift and compare myself to them since they are soo skinny (all over) and I wish I could be like them. To look up to someone as a kind of ‘body idol’ for me I think is Nina dobrev since she is a slim pear who’s fit and toned(And she doesnt have a thigh gap!). And fitspiration is better than thinspiration!

    Anyway, I don’t know why I was so worried about thigh gaps!! Its not a guy is gonna say ‘Man, I realllly like her but.. she doesn’t have a thigh gap!” I don’t think many of them even know what it is. Yes, muscualr thighs are great for running and stuff! But I’m not really a sports girl.. like at all, but I started excersizing to stay fit and in shape and of course I’ll check out your blog! I’m kind of obssesed with being healthy now anyway ahaha xx

    Thanks for all the positive stuff! I think more girls need to read this blog and realise thigh gaps aren’t evrything! Its funny how som people (including me, once upon a time, and sometimes still now kinda) get worried about a small little gap betweeen your thighs that doesnt even make a diffrence on how pretty you are or stuff! Haha but this post is soo awseomeeeee!!! THANK U AGAIN XOXOXOX

    • says

      Anisha,

      You are MORE than welcome, and I am so incredibly happy that I could in someway, help make YOU feel better, and that those are tears of happiness!

      We are all different and beautiful in our OWN ways, thigh gap or not, collar bones, curves, big chests, small chest, it is not only what is external, but internal that makes us beautiful <3

      You are correct, MANY beautiful celebrities have a pear shape, but honestly, you are not a shape, and neither am I. We are women, with bodies, that are beautiful. We are not apples or pears, or pieces of fruit to be fondled, but rather, bodies and brains to be embraced, loved, and nourished.

      And EXACTLY, no man is going to say, "I like her but where is her thigh gap" every man's preference will differ, BUT any man worth your time will look at what is in your heart, not your exterior only!

      I am happy you have started exercising, and hope checking out my blog, and the self love posts help.
      My instagram is where I post a lot of inspirational musings @eatsandexercisebyamber

      You are more than welcome, positive vibes, stay happy and healthy <3